The Night Before Solstice


Twas the night before solstice and all through the co-op
Not a creature was messing the calm status quo up.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Dreaming of lentils and warm whole-grain breads.

We'd welcomed the winter that day after school
By dancing and drumming and burning the Yule,
A more meaningful gesture to honor the planet
Than buying more trinkets for Mom or Aunt Janet,

Or choosing a tree just to murder and stump it
And deck it all out like a seasonal strumpet.
My spouse and I, having turned down the heat,
Slipped under the covers for some well-deserved sleep,

When from out on the lawn there came such a roar
I slipped from my futon and rolled to the floor.
I crawled to the window and pulled back the latch,
And muttered, "Aw, where is that Neighborhood Watch?"

I saw there below through the murk of the night
A sleigh and eight reindeer, challenged of height.
At the reins of that sleigh sat a mean-hearted knave
Who treated each deer like some personal slave.

I'd seen him before in some ads for car loans,
Plus fast food, soft drinks and cellular car phones.
He must have cashed in from these mercantile chores,
Since self-satisfaction just oozed from his pores.

He called each by name, as if 'twere his right
To treat them like chattel enhancing his might:
"Now Donner, now Blitzen," and other such aliases,
Showing his true Euro-centrical biases.

With a snap of his fingers away they all flew,
Like Democrats served up brie or tofu.
Up to the rooftop they carried the sleigh
(The damage to my shingles is there to this day).


There is more . . . read the full thing at . . .

http://people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16/Christmas/the_night_before_solstice.txt