It could happen when you have the least amount of time available for it. Someone comes out to you. He may even hit on you. He thinks he wants a lover, or maybe just to get laid, but you know better. What he needs is a mentor.

He needs someone to explain things to him. Someone with patience and wisdom. And whether believe it or not, you are that guy. You can do it. You can be his mentor.

Remember back when you came out. It may not have been the first time or even the second, but early on in your gay experience, someone took you under his wing and explained things to you. He answered questions you couldn't look up in the encyclopedia. Hell, he even answered questions you didn't even think to ask!

And even if you didn't have your own personal mentor, don't you wish you had?

You have an obligation to make sure that this guy comes out of the closet right. Explain that inside language we have -- the Queen's English -- that "coming out" doesn't mean leaving, it means arriving. Tell him what scat, fisting, watersports and tearooms are. Tell him that real men do kiss, each other!

Tell him that at least a few times in his life someone else will come out to him and that he has an obligation to show the same patience and understanding that you've given him. You and he are part of a chain of understanding that goes clear back to the beginnings of humanity.

For awhile he will become your buddy. A constant companion, even though you may not want even want one.

Eventually the two of you will grow apart. He will no longer need you as his mentor. There may come a time when you never hear from him again. But it's okay. You'll know that he's all right. You've given him the knowledge he needs to survive this gay world.