The Dangers of BREAD: 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households...
Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in the Victoria's Secret shop. To my delight, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in line...
Rampant: Clothing line for sheep ... Nuisance: The furniture is NUISANCE you were last here. ... Sign Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." ...
Q: Why are dog catchers so wealthy? A: They're paid by the pound. ... Q: How did the bowler pay for his acupuncture? A: Pin money. ... Sign in a Laundromat:...
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a race horse? A: A hen that lays odds ... Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a homing pigeon? A:...
Thanks, Lynn! During a recent password audit, a blonde was found to be using the password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When asked why...
WARNING: This isn't long enough to be a true shaggy dog story, but it's at least a shaggy puppy. As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He...
Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? A: He felt his presents. (Simon Champion) ... Q: What do you get if you deep fry...
Thanksgiving Lament from www.TopFive.com So the pilgrims have passed into legend, And the tribe runs Casino Mohegan. And we've downsized our bird, Because...
Boxer Shorts: Film clips of famous pugilists. ... Farmer: There is FARMER joy in giving than in receiving. ... Be like a lion: Live life with pride and grab...
Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much at Thanksgiving Dinner: (from David Letterman's Top Ten Lists via Barbara) 10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack...
Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted? A: Boy, I'm stuffed! ... Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? A: They suspected it of fowl play. ... Q:...
Thanks, Joe K. and Lynn! The Senior Citizen's Alphabet: A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay...
Thanks, Lynn! It's time to take your Dementia test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep...
The ancient Japanese leader who lost both legs in an accident became a sawed-off Shogun. (Mike Bull's Pun of the Day) ... The big problem I have with Monday...
A Thanksgiving Accident The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air; It knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. It...
Thanks, Lynn! My forgetter's getting better, But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm 'here' I'm...
The economy is so bad ... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. ... The economy is so bad ... I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the...
Many thanks to list member y3k for uncovering the truth ... Conrad Naval Friday 13th myth unfounded Historians have dispelled a rumour that the Royal Navy once...
Thanks, Barbara! I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game. They eat so much...
A honeymoon couple is staying in the Watergate Hotel in downtown Washington. The bride is a little concerned. "What if this place is still bugged?" "Oh, honey,...
Due to business commitments, I'll be posting to the list irregularly for the rest of this week. Conrad ________________________________________________________...
(this is from Dan Heinrichs via Stan Kegel's Puns of the day) Flu Square Dance Choose your partners, one and all, Aspirin, Advil, or Tylenol! Now fling those...
(I had this all set to go yesterday -- aka "on time" -- and never got to hitting SEND. My apologies ... Conrad) Q: What's the best kind of paper for making...
Q: How much do pirates pay for corn? A: A buck-an-ear. ... WARNING: Cloning inhabitants of Middle Earth may be Hobbit forming (Stan Kegel) ... Q: What do you...
Thanks, Christine! Teacher to student: "If I gave you two rabbits, and another two rabbits and another two, how many would you have?" "Seven" "Now, listen...
Bumper sticker: Honk if you love Jesus Text while driving if you'd like to meet Him (Thanks, Lynn) ... Q: What do the police do with criminal chickens? A:...
Thanks, Barbara! (I know, this is a little late for the season. My fault, not Barbara's) Top Ten Ways You Know You're Too Old to Trick or Treat: 10. You get...
Having problems with message search?
Fill out this form to ensure your group is one of the first to be migrated to the new message search system.
