When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed Send. His mother answered and I told her...
Thanks, Wayne! Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. ...
Two pastors were talking. "I put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at my church." "I did too, but after two weeks I took them out." "Why?" "Well,...
Q: If a man were born in Greece, raised in Spain, came to America and died in San Francisco, what is he? A: Dead. ... That second hand shop sells minute items....
Thanks, Lynn! A first grade teacher presented her students with the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to supply the remainder. Don't change...
Thanks, Lynn! KIDS IN CHURCH "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name." ... "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm...
My technical difficulties weren't over. Yesterday I had no Internet connectivity at all. This is yesterday's and today's posting compbined. My apologies for...
From www.topfive.com Little-Known Moments in History =============================== 1432: Chef Gutenberg invents the moveable-type garlic press. 1492: "Heads,...
Chanukah Explained by Cynthia MacGregor Jews all over the world are getting ready to celebrate Chanukah by lighting menorahs. In the spirit of equal rights, I...
Thanks, Lynn! A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He...
Smartly dressed poultry would be called chic hens. (Mike Bull's Pun of the Day) ... I have to look for a new masseuse. My old one rubbed me the wrong way. ...
Q: What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand? A: Sandy Claws ... Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? A: Santapplause ... Q: What do...
While attending a Marriage Encounter weekend, Roy and his wife Charlotte listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the...
People who tell jokes on December 25 might be called "Christmas cards." (Richard Lederer) ... Q: What's a Beatnik? A: Santa Claus on Dec. 25. ... Q: What did...
Postings will be irregular over the next two weeks, due to the holidays. Merry Christmas to all and best wishes for a happy and healthy 2009! ... Conrad ...
A programmer didn't show up for work. After he had been missing for a few days, his coworkers called the police. The cops broke down the door of his apartment....
Dear Santa, I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold...
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of her weight. "I feel so ashamed, Doctor, I guess I let myself go." "Don't...
Q: Why did Frosty live in the middle of the ocean? A: Snowman is an island. ... Q: Why was Cinderella such a poor football player? A: She had a pumpkin for a...
Q: What brings a big smile to a ram's face on Jan. 1? A: Happy Ewe Near! ... Q: What's the difference between a hungry man and a greedy man? A: One longs to...
Happy New Year to everyone and best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009!! Conrad _________________________________________________________________ ...
Q: Why do ants dance on jam jars? A: Because the jar says "twist to open" ... Q: Why do blonde nurses carry a red Magic Marker? A: In case they have to draw...
A dog that gave birth to puppies near the road was cited for littering. (BWJokes.com) ... A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking...
Q: Why won't a cannibal eat people who work at Exxon? A: They give him gas. ... Did you hear about the fight in Red Lobster? Two fish got battered. ... Q: Why...
Thanks, Lynn! Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific Island. Both survived. One of the men brushed himself off and then proceeded to run all...
I diet religiously: I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight (BWjokes.com) ... When you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper. ...
Someone once accused me of stealing an old, rare, valuable stamp. I philately denied it. ... Q: What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a backhoe and a...
My neurologist is testing my last nerve. (Mike Bull's Pun of the Day) ... Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A: A catalog ... Q: What's the...
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