"Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited. If you wish to leave a message for Carol, please press 1. If you wish to leave a message for Marge,...
Thanks, Lynn! Cleaning Poem I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.' He told me...
A husband and wife had a huge argument and ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, he asked, "Do you know where my white dress shirt is?" "Oh, so...
Lawyer to pregnant witness: "Do you know how far along in your pregnancy you are now?" "It'll be three months on April twelfth." "Apparently then, the date of...
When temperatures plunged to 26 degrees below zero Fahrenheit (that's about -32 for you Celsius folks), the Rockford, Ill., Register Star asked its readers to...
from BWJokes.com Stock Market Report: Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking...
Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends had gotten married, Bill played some type of practical joke on them. Now ready to be married himself,...
Doctor, Doctor! my child just swallowed a pen. What should I do?" "Use a pencil." "Doctor, Doctor! My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!" "Hmmmm....
After hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote a letter to the IRS: "I have been...
What do they wear to work? Lawyer: Suit, Briefs Electrician: Shorts Boxer: Socks Golfer: Tee Shirt Psychiatrist: Slip Painter: Coat Fireman: Hose Athlete:...
This will be my last posting for a couple of weeks; I'm going on vacation. ... Conrad While there may be no time EXACTLY like the present, you have to admit...
Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15...
I'm still officially on vacation but I'll try to post when I can over the coming week. Conrad Thanks, Lynn! I was walking past the mental hospital the other...
Don't you just hate it when ... ... you have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them. ... the person behind...
Things You May Hear Just Before Becoming Unemployed: "I don't know what we'll do without you, but we are going to try." "We told everyone you are leaving...
My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've stayed married for so long, he says, "we've come to an agreement on...
My wife wanted to go somewhere expensive for our anniversary, so I took her down the street to the Sunoco station. I have my car towed to work because it's...
Tiff Wimberly won Punniest of Show at the 2000 O. Henry International Punoff, receiving an almost perfect score of 39 out of a possible 40. Here is Tiff's...
The Fourth of May Mark Your Calender. A very important event is going to happen on May the 4th. I'm telling you so early because it's so important. I urge each...
The 5th of May is a Mexican holiday, but its true origins are not well known. In the early 1900's, Hellman's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In 1912,...
If I didn’t have dogs ... ... I could walk around the yard barefoot. ... my house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated. ... all flat surfaces,...
The Sociology professor was explaining how societies' ideals of beauty changes with time. "For example, he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five...
Q: Rearrange the letters in the words "NEW DOOR" to make one word. Note: There is only one correct answer. A: (The answer appears at the end of this message) ...
Top 23 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up: 23. All your house plants are alive ... and you can't smoke any of them. 22. You have more food than beer in the fridge. ...
Over the years, I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and...
A Mother's Dictionary Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the...
I just received this from a friend of JoLene's. She's had a number of medical setbacks recently and can use our prayers. Sadly, this is not a joke. My ...
I'm sorry; I just don't feel that a normal humor posting is appropriate today, in light of JoLene's condition. Instead, I'll offer this, part of Pulitzer Prize...
It is my sad duty to report that JoLene passed away yesterday. I am deeply saddened, because although I never met her personally, I knew her as a friend, as...
Having problems with message search?
Fill out this form to ensure your group is one of the first to be migrated to the new message search system.
