Size tags do not define you

http://www.theorion.com/opinion/size-tags-do-not-define-you-1.859141

By Robin Epley

We’ve all been that girl. You ladies know what I’m talking about. The girl
who can’t find her size in jeans on the rack and has to walk away. The girl
who is sitting at home on a Friday night because she thinks she just can’t
compete with the rest of the girls out there. The girl who thinks she is having
a “fat” day, so she throws on sweatpants and sulks in the corner of the
classroom, letting it ruin her whole attitude and her whole day.

I hate that modern society has made this generation of females so aware of how
they look. It’s almost as if our place in society is defined by what our jean
size is. A size 22? Be prepared to feel worthless. A size 12? You are stuck in
no woman’s land. You’re small enough to fit into the cute clothes at
department stores, but not tiny enough to look good in them. A size two? Chances
are you think you’re too skinny and probably envy the girls with those
gorgeous curves. I’m not saying that’s how every girl thinks. But admit it,
ladies, you’ve probably thought it at least once while looking in a mirror.

It’s a struggle every girl goes through. Wondering if she is pretty enough.
Girls unfairly tie their beauty to their weight, instead of to the things that
make them truly beautiful — their personality and intelligence.

It makes me so angry with the women who think they have to look a certain way
and even angrier at the men who ignore them unless they do.

We line up around the clothes rack according to size and we line up in life
according to weight. We can’t even go into certain stores in the mall without
being conscious of whether we “belong” there. Hollister Co. and Abercrombie
& Fitch only carry jean sizes up to size 12. Forever 21 in Chico actually splits
a part of its massive store just for “plus” sizes — called Faith21
“extended sizes” — that start at size 12 and stop at about a size 16.

Why are we letting them get away with this? Why do we let them sell us clothes
that a majority of us can’t even fit into? I think it’s because we’ve been
programmed to think if we’re not a size two, we shouldn’t love ourselves.

In 2000, a rumor circled the Internet that Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16 dress
in her day. That’s not true, but she did wear at least a size 10 and probably,
at times, a size 12 and up. For reference, a size 12 in the ’50s was smaller
than a size 12 today, about four to six sizes, so Marilyn could probably pour
herself into a pair of size 8 Apple Bottom jeans. But the funny thing is,
Marilyn would still be considered a plus size model if she lived and worked now
and I don’t know a man today who wouldn’t jump her bones if he had the
chance.

In August of this year, Glamour magazine printed a picture of model Lizzi
Miller, a beautiful, size 12 blonde. Miller was sitting naked — artfully
draped, if you catch my drift — with just a little bit of tummy prominent.
Glamour’s readers and, indeed, the fashion world, were astounded. They flooded
the managing editor’s mailbox with thank you’s and demands to know who the
“woman on page 194” was.

Kudos to Glamour for publishing a picture of a less-than-“perfect” model,
but should they be so profusely thanked for this? Shouldn’t this be common
practice? Real women are not perfect. Our media and our entertainment should
reflect that, but it’s no secret it doesn’t.

You may say you’re hurting no one but yourself with your weight obsession, but
girls as young as age 10 are starting to diet and think they “look fat.” Our
little sisters and our daughters hear us say, “Oh, I look fat/ugly/insert
derogatory remark here” and they begin to think that’s how they should feel
about themselves and their own, gorgeous, growing bodies. Instead of focusing on
what really makes us beautiful — our personality, our humor and our
intelligence — we focus on the external only, leaving future generations to
think if they’re not beautiful on the outside, they’re worthless.

Mimi Bommersbach, a psychologist at Chico State’s Counseling and Wellness
Center, spoke to me about how easy it is to fall into the weight trap while in
college. “It’s easy to gain weight,” she said. “But we live in a society
that values thinness.”

She explained a new sense of freedom mixed with the stress of being away from
home for the first time can lead to a heavy combination for freshman. Women tend
to talk themselves out of breakfast and lunch and put their bodies into a
“fasting mode” where they binge at night because they’re so hungry.

Genetically, women have weight on their bodies and they weren’t meant to look
like men, with pure muscle, Bommersbach said.

We should celebrate the fat on our bodies, as it’s what genetically makes us
women, she said.

Bommersbach counsels a lot of women on weight issues in her position at the
Wellness Center and has noticed body issues tend to come from the obsession with
being and looking “perfect.”

“It’s better to embrace your body and be friends with your body than be at
war with your body,” Bommersbach said. “We don’t have to do what the
culture expects us to do. We can be smarter than that.”

So be smarter than that. Don’t let the obsession take over your soul. Women
just want to look good, but looking good comes at a hard price nowadays. With
every tick up on the scale, society tells us to feel less beautiful. It takes a
long time for us to overcome our fears that we’re not as “pretty” as we
could be. Instead of admiring size two Kate Moss, or size zero Blake Lively,
let’s admire women who have the same body type as we do. Let’s admire them
because they’re healthy, gorgeous and generally beautiful — inside and out.

--------- end Elegant Plus forward ----------
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