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SKILLS TO OVERCOME PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE... Part 4 - Choose to Forgive!

"...forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32b (NAS)

Happy Resurrection Sunday!! What a perfect time to move on to the next skill to
help make law enforcement marriages strong! Today's skill is CHOOSE TO FORGIVE!

Let's face it... you will never go through marriage without a disagreement at
some time or another. If you choose to hang onto every hurt feeling that occurs
between you and your husband, and to carry it into the future of your marriage,
you will be a miserable woman! You must choose to forgive... yes, I said CHOOSE!

Forgiveness is not a feeling you have to muster up... How you feel has nothing
to do with it. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of bitterness, whether he
deserves it or not, whether you feel like it or not.. Forgiveness helps YOU to
move forward so that there isn't pain/anger everytime you think of or talk to
him!

Think of it this way... when Jesus said to forgive, He went so far as to say to
forgive your enemies... He forgave those who nailed Him to the cross...
obviously forgiveness cannot be restricted to feelings... it has to be a
conscious choice of your will to let go of the bitterness and hurt feelings.
That does not mean you should not talk over problems with your husband; it
simply means that you cannot hold onto bitterness.

How do you know if you have unforgiveness toward your husband? Listen carefully
to the words you use... "You NEVER..." or "You ALWAYS..." are symptoms of
unforgiveness. Dwelling on thoughts of past offenses or bringing them up in
conversations are symptoms that you need to make a choice.

If you are harboring unforgiveness toward your husband today, pray and ask God
to forgive you for not forgiving him, and then declare before God that you are
not going to hold onto that bitterness any longer. Then, whenever those negative
thoughts about your husband start to enter your mind, CHOOSE to say, "NO, I've
forgiven him" and think about something positive in relation to him... only ONE
thought can hold a place in your mind at a time! CHOOSE TO FORGIVE!!

PRAYER: Father, reveal to these ladies if there are any areas of unforgiveness
in their hearts toward their husbands. Help them to let go of the pain and hurt
feelings so that they can go forward and grow in their relationship!! In Jesus'
name, amen.
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