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WHAT ABOUT ME?

"Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still
called, 'Today'." Hebrews 3:13a (NAS)

What if your needs are not being met in your marriage? You may desire
conversation with your husband, but he may not be much of a
communicator. You need affection and companionship, but his long
hours may prevent you from seeing much of each other. His job may
have gotten to where it seems like his mistress. Perhaps he is grumpy
and tired on his days off. He may have become very hardened and
cynical, and may be insensitive toward you. You may be feeling
overwhelmed with responsibilities and very alone.

Your needs count, too. Your marriage SHOULD be coming first, before
his job. But that may not be happening. It is certainly ok to address
your needs and feelings with your husband. But what if, in spite of
communicating your needs, nothing has changed yet?

There are two MUST DO's in these situations. One, as I've said many
times, PRAY UNTIL THINGS CHANGE because prayer does eventually change
things! And two, DEVELOP OTHER RESOURCES to meet your needs in the
interim!

You cannot continue in an ongoing negative emotional state; it will
eventually destroy you. You CAN, however, seek ways outside of your
husband to get your needs met while waiting for God to work on his
heart. In fact, you NEED to!

You need to find ways to take care of yourself. It's ok to get
together with your girlfriends and have some fun! Immerse yourself in
a ministry that touches your heart. Go on outings with the kids even
if he can't join you. Join a book discussion group, or take a class
you've always wanted to. Engulf yourself in a favorite hobby. Seek
the company and counsel of Godly women. Spend time exercising and
contributing to your health. Find things that make you happy and
focus on them! You don't have to wait for your husband to change
before you are happy!

If it's possible, find another Christian wife who can buddy up with
you as a prayer partner. The two of you can be a source of support
and encouragement for one another, and you can pray together for each
other's marriages (and maybe trade babysitting favors when/if
needed).

Don't give up on your marriage, but DO seek out and develop resources
for yourself! You need your life to continue on in ways that will
bring you satisfaction and happiness, and you don't have to wait for
it to happen! Go after it! God will be faithful to work in your
husband's heart over time and you will have made for yourself a
network of resources!

PRAYER: Father, I ask that you would move on the hearts of the
husbands so that they would love their wives just as Christ loved the
church and gave Himself up for her! Bring godly women into the lives
of the wives so that they have companionship and good counsel, and
help them to find joy in their lives! In Jesus' name, amen.
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