Yes, it true. Although at the end I was actually screaming, because they were all yelling at me to get up! LOL I of course tried and could not stand. But yes...
8456
J.Laine
mr_spaceman@...
Jun 1, 2001 10:57 am
Hey!! Foul! Where's the rest of it? That isn't fair at all. In this one, you seem to overuse words. Mom and wall, off the top of my head. Keep an eye on...
8457
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 11:28 am
*Chuckles* Nice outline. You could turn this into a story..... Regards, Liz. ... <Tracy.Billups@n...> wrote: Grandpa!!!!!!!!! we'd been looking EVERYWHERE...
8458
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 11:34 am
Jeannie: I like many of the images in this. I think it would be nice if you split up much of the narrative with interaction of some kind, whether with a cat...
8459
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 11:39 am
Suz: Nothing wrong with sappy, IMHO. It's a lovely poem! Regards, Liz. ... <<REMODELLING I let you in to my life, You came into my heart. You took one look...
8460
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 11:46 am
... Last Thursday was the last straw, I swear.... Never again! But let me tell you what happened.... I "Quinn, I want to go shopping." I told this to him,...
8461
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 11:52 am
*snickers* It came from you, of course: wish I had thought of it. The only other response to the prompt I could think of would have to do with one of those...
8462
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:07 pm
Because of time constraints, I decided I'd pick on the first few lines. I noticed a few things that repeat through the story and might help.... Remember,...
8463
J.Laine
mr_spaceman@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:10 pm
Jen, This is hysterical. The tone is great, not quite making excuses, just might be serious. The funeral procession part cracked me up. ~Spacey James ... Made...
8464
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:11 pm
And maybe someday, we'll both have the opportunity to sleep, lol! I like it! Yup *nods*. Regards, Liz....
8465
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:15 pm
LOL! It works! Regards, Liz. ... mind of it's own."...
8466
Michael Smith
mikesmi@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:16 pm
Hi Melissa, Your introduction reached out and grabbed me by the throat. You see, with a name like "Mike Smith" I've had similar questioning discussions with my...
8467
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:23 pm
Michael, Debi, can I have your permission to quote you at a Yahoo club that just started? It's a place for fantasy critiques (if you like, I can put the URL...
8468
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:29 pm
Belinda: Nice essay. If you wanted, I think you could turn it into a story. You have all the elements here; the internal conflict and all. External challenges...
8469
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:31 pm
... OOoo, sounds like someone has it in store for their younger sibling.... Regards, Liz....
8470
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:39 pm
At this point, I culd not resist -- especially not as a die-hard chocoholic. Apologies to those with delicate constitutions, or who are allergic to chocolate....
8471
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:43 pm
This makes me think of my brother, too; he committed suicide back in 1978. That's a story in and of itself, too..... Regards, Liz. ... <<They said you were...
8472
elizabethanneensley@...
Jun 1, 2001 12:46 pm
Melissa, ROTFL! A long way to go for the punch line, but it was worth the wait! Regards, Liz....
8473
J.Laine
mr_spaceman@...
Jun 1, 2001 1:23 pm
Alison, I truly enjoyed this. Your dialogue is good and the visual of some madwoman running around tearing kiddie clowns off of her wall made me laugh. Good...
8474
akeegan@...
Jun 1, 2001 1:51 pm
Liz, I loved this. I can totally relate. So much said in such a succinct way. Great job. Alison ... From: elizabethanneensley@... ...
8475
Billups, Tracy D - NICK
Tracy.Billups@...
Jun 1, 2001 2:39 pm
This was painful to read so to live with it must be unbearable at times-stay strong James. ... From: J.Laine [mailto:mr_spaceman@...] Sent: Thursday,...
8476
Billups, Tracy D - NICK
Tracy.Billups@...
Jun 1, 2001 2:44 pm
I absolutely loved the story. The writing was very descriptive and the dialogue came and went with a smooth flow. The only critique I would have would be the...
8477
akeegan@...
Jun 1, 2001 3:37 pm
Hey all, This has nothing to do with any of the prompts, but a story I wrote and submitted to a contest held by a New England magazine called "Yankee". (could...
8478
msriverbend@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:04 pm
Christie, I don't know your e-mail address, otherwise I'd comment directly. Shame on you for the tease! lol! Here is a phrase I particularly like because...
8479
Marlicia Fernandez
marlicia@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:06 pm
Hi James, Thanks for the kind words. I like to make people laugh or at least smile, so I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for the compliment on my dialogue,...
8480
Marlicia Fernandez
marlicia@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:23 pm
Hey Suz, Sometimes sappy is just what the doctor ordered. Nice take on the prompt, a little tightening up and you might want to try to submit it somewhere,...
8481
Marlicia Fernandez
marlicia@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:26 pm
Hello, Like this alot. I love your diversity in writing. This is terrific! I could visualize everything that was happening, almost as if I was there. Now I...
8482
Marlicia Fernandez
marlicia@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:44 pm
Hi James, You're writing keeps improving. It reads very well and is very fast paced. I can almost hear the discomfort in her voice and you, you nasty person, ...
8483
Marlicia Fernandez
marlicia@...
Jun 1, 2001 4:49 pm
Hi Jeannie, ANother well written piece. I liked this, it kept me glued until the end. Sometimes children can be so hard on each other. Thanks for the slice of...
8484
msriverbend@...
Jun 1, 2001 5:07 pm
Mike, Great use of dialogue! It kept me hooked throughout! Melissa msriverbend@......
