"Reflecting on your own good qualities, on happiness,
and your right to be happy
is far from being selfish:
experiencing and acquiring Metta
allows you to fully share it with others.
Begin by expressing Metta first to yourself.
Allow this feeling of love to pervade your entire being.
Extend this feeling to a benefactor (such as a parent or teacher),
a dear friend, a neutral person,
and ending with a difficult person (if possible).
You can also radiate the Metta energy spatially outward to the
people/beings in this neighborhood, this town, this state, this
country, this world and all beings in all realms of existence.

The four traditional phrases are:
May I be free from harm
May I be well
May I be happy
May I live with ease

or simply
"May I be safe, well, happy and peaceful"

Then substitute "I" for "you," then substitute "all beings" for "you."

You can also feel the Metta without any words."
http://iteachnet.org/vipassanahawaii.org/?q=node/19
From: Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation
By Thanh V. Huynh

"We begin the metta practice
by developing the ability
to generate loving kindness toward ourselves.
Tune into a sense of yourself at your best.
Think of some aspect of yourself that you respect and like.
Imagine a situation when you helped others,
when you acted from a place of heart that cares.
Let yourself rejoice in your own virtue,
and begin to silently repeat the phrases
(compose 3 or 4 phrases that resonate with you)
directing the sense of well-wishing toward yourself.
We use ourselves as a kind of example,
for we know we wish to be happy and not suffer.

May I be safe from danger
May I be happy
May I be healthy and strong
May I have ease of well being

After a time, (perhaps 15 minutes),
bring to mind someone who is easy to care for.
Someone who you feel gratitude toward,
who you respect,
perhaps who has helped you,
or a dear friend.
Choose someone endowed with virtuous qualities,
worthy of admiration.
Begin to repeat the phrases of metta for this virtuous person
(another 10 or 15 minutes).

May you be protected from inner and outer harm.
May you be happy and peaceful in mind.
May you enjoy strength, vitality and health in body.
May you be blessed with ease of well being in your social and material
relations.

Let the meaning of the phrases deepen in your consciousness.
Contemplate the possibility of truly and simply wishing well.

You can continue to develop metta
using yourself and a friend in this way for some time,
allowing the stability of mind to deepen.

As the metta grows
clearer and stronger
it is possible to bring to mind more challenging people,
those whom we may have some conflict with,
offering the very same wishes of happiness for them.
Just as I wish to be happy, so may you be happy.........
May you be touched by loving kindness
May you be free of mental and physical suffering
May you live in peace and harmony.

All beings want to be happy and not to suffer.
This is a universal wish.

May all beings everywhere,
known and unknown,
near and far,
be happy, peaceful and at ease.

Let the practice develop slowly.
Little by little,
phrase by phrase,
day after day,
our hearts will incline toward
a full-hearted care for all of life."
http://www.imsb.org/teachings/metta.php
From: The Power of Loving Kindness
Cultivating Metta
An edited talk by Shaila Catherine


******************************

Thanks to Antony, who originally posted this on April 20, 2008.


May this be of benefit.

Antony, it's nice to hear your voice!  ;o)

In lovingkindness,

Sharon

--- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "antony272b2" <antony272b@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Sharon, Group,
>
> Progress. Tonight I recited "May I Be Happy" using voice inflection to
emphasize selected word(s). I settled on "//May// I be //Happy//". The "May"
affirmed that it was the attitude rather than insisting that something happen to
make myself happy. I gave less importance to "I be" to put it in the background
of the meditation. The emphasis on "Happy" reminded me of post
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/2689
> adjusted to myself: that it is important that I be happy because otherwise my
behavior will be worse!
>
> I'll keep you updated.
>
> With metta / Antony.
>
> From: antony272b2 (antony272b@...)
> Sent:  Wednesday, 9 December 2009 1:29:41 PM
> To:  Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Buddhaviharas] Re: Reciting Metta Phrases With Cheerful Voice&#8207;
>
> (this is from my June 2009 thread)
>
> Hi Sharon, Group,
>
> I think I've finally figured out how to use metta phrases. At first I
memorized the written phrases and recited them, but my voice was rather
monotone. Then I listened to audio guided metta meditations and memorized them
and could bring to mind the voice on the CD without having to play the CD. My
new idea is to say the memorized phrases from the CD with the same caring,
cheerful tone of voice but in my own voice and accent. I think I'm onto
something!
>
> With metta / Antony :)
>
> This post is recorded in mp3 audio in our files section:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/files/Posts_Read_Aloud/
>

Hi Sharon, Group,

Progress. Tonight I recited "May I Be Happy" using voice inflection to emphasize
selected word(s). I settled on "//May// I be //Happy//". The "May" affirmed that
it was the attitude rather than insisting that something happen to make myself
happy. I gave less importance to "I be" to put it in the background of the
meditation. The emphasis on "Happy" reminded me of post
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/2689
adjusted to myself: that it is important that I be happy because otherwise my
behavior will be worse!

I'll keep you updated.

With metta / Antony.

From: antony272b2 (antony272b@...)
Sent:  Wednesday, 9 December 2009 1:29:41 PM
To:  Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Buddhaviharas] Re: Reciting Metta Phrases With Cheerful Voice‏

(this is from my June 2009 thread)

Hi Sharon, Group,

I think I've finally figured out how to use metta phrases. At first I memorized
the written phrases and recited them, but my voice was rather monotone. Then I
listened to audio guided metta meditations and memorized them and could bring to
mind the voice on the CD without having to play the CD. My new idea is to say
the memorized phrases from the CD with the same caring, cheerful tone of voice
but in my own voice and accent. I think I'm onto something!

With metta / Antony :)

This post is recorded in mp3 audio in our files section:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/files/Posts_Read_Aloud/

(this is from my June 2009 thread)

Hi Sharon, Group,

I think I've finally figured out how to use metta phrases. At first I memorized
the written phrases and recited them, but my voice was rather monotone. Then I
listened to audio guided metta meditations and memorized them and could bring to
mind the voice on the CD without having to play the CD. My new idea is to say
the memorized phrases from the CD with the same caring, cheerful tone of voice
but in my own voice and accent. I think I'm onto something!

With metta / Antony :)

This post is recorded in mp3 audio in our files section:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/files/Posts_Read_Aloud/

Thanks for sending these links.  :o)

--- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "antony272b2" <antony272b@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Sharon and Group,
>
> In my 28th May 2007 post Rev Sarika Dharma wrote:
> >The best way to start is with
> >oneself, repeating in one's mind:
> >"May I be happy, peaceful and free from suffering."
> >After a few months of this, we can begin to send...
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/2697?var=0&l=1
>
> Antony: "After a few months of this..."!! LOL
> I think I'm ready to follow this advice, after these two posts:
> No Happiness Dichotomy (Thanissaro)
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/3563?var=0&l=1
> Helping With Self-Metta (Antony)
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/3364?var=0&l=1
>
> I'm going to start trying to keep in mind that I want to be wonderful & happy
and that my behavior in the present moment has the potential to be a big factor.
"The wonderful" is one of the 33 synonyms for Nibbana in Samyutta Nikaya 43:14.
> http://www.suttareadings.net/audio/index.html#sn43.x
>
> With metta / Antony.
>

"We live in a world of infinite possibility.  As humans, we have the ability to
experience ourselves as separate from that and then cling to that separation,
all the while decrying our loneliness and isolation and suffering terribly in
the process.  We search everywhere for relief, but we fail to notice that the
illusion of separation is conducting the search and it has no interest in
oneness and connection and possibility.

"This world of possibility is available to us through the practice of conscious
compassionate awareness."

~ Cheri Huber, "Suffering is Optional: Three Keys to Freedom and Joy," Keep It
Simple Books, 2000.


May this be of benefit.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Sharon and Group,

In my 28th May 2007 post Rev Sarika Dharma wrote:
>The best way to start is with
>oneself, repeating in one's mind:
>"May I be happy, peaceful and free from suffering."
>After a few months of this, we can begin to send...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/2697?var=0&l=1

Antony: "After a few months of this..."!! LOL
I think I'm ready to follow this advice, after these two posts:
No Happiness Dichotomy (Thanissaro)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/3563?var=0&l=1
Helping With Self-Metta (Antony)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/message/3364?var=0&l=1

I'm going to start trying to keep in mind that I want to be wonderful & happy
and that my behavior in the present moment has the potential to be a big factor.
"The wonderful" is one of the 33 synonyms for Nibbana in Samyutta Nikaya 43:14.
http://www.suttareadings.net/audio/index.html#sn43.x

With metta / Antony.

"'Mitra' in Vedic literature and 'Mitta' in Pali literature means the sun. The
nature of the sun can be called 'Maitri' or 'Metta'. Maitri or Metta also means
friendliness or loving-kindness. Perhaps the reason why loving-kindness is
called so is that it generates very warm feeling towards all beings. Like warmth
comes from the sun, one who has loving-kindness has a warm heart towards others.
Just as the sun shines indiscriminately on any object in the world, 'Metta' or
'Maitri' pervades all beings without any discrimination. Just as the sun dispels
darkness, loving-kindness destroys the darkness of hatred. Just like some
objects absorbs sun more than others , some living beings absorb loving-kindness
better than others. Those beings who absorb more loving-kindness are the ones
who learn to relax because of their Kamma."

~ Bhante G (Henepola Gunaratana), Meditation on Loving-Kindness (Metta)

http://www.bhavanasociety.org/resource/meditation_on_loving_kindness_metta/


May this be of benefit.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

"By examining the feelings and sensations we have when we experience an emotion
such as anger we can become aware of how painful and tortuous they are and start
to develop a strong desire to be free of them. We can also begin to realize that
thinking and acting from compassion (karuna) and love (metta) will demonstrate
to others that it is possible to live without being dominated by unrelenting
thoughts of anger and aggression. We may also be fortunate enough to encounter a
person who does, in fact, live by such principles. When we see their calmness
and peacefulness, it can begin to dawn on us that we, too, can allow those
qualities to unfold within ourselves and can experience for ourselves the
happiness that they bring to the heart."
~ p117 Peace In The Buddha's Discourses:
A Compilation and Discussion by Dennis Candy
Buddhist Publication Society http://www.bps.lk

With metta / Antony.

"Most of us have been conditioned to hate our anger. As we try to
observe it, we will find a tendency to judge and suppress it, to get
rid of it, because it is 'bad' and painful, or shameful
and 'unspiritual.' We must be very careful to bring an open mind and
heart to our practice, and to let ourselves feel fully, even if it
means touching the deepest wells of grief, sorrow, and rage within
us. These forces move our lives, and we must feel them in order to come
to terms with them. Meditation is not a process of getting rid
of something, but one of opening and understanding."

~ Jack Kornfield, "A Path With Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and
Promises of Spiritual Life," Bantam Books, 1993.


May this be of benefit.

Beautiful.  Antony, that's wonderful that you were able to help your neighbor -
talk about compassionate action.

:o)

In lovingkindness,

Sharon

--- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "antony272b2" <antony272b@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Group,
>
  Last week I helped save my 92-year-old neighbor from death by dehydration (we
had a day where the temperature was approximately 105 degrees).

Hi Group,

A note on the context of this post relating to the Brahmaviharas. "deeply moved"
and "Stirred to a sense of urgency" relates to my experience of watching the TV
news. Grieving football fans I call "Empty suffering" whereas starving children
I call "Raw suffering". Last week I helped save my 92-year-old neighbor from
death by dehydration (we had a day where the temperature was approximately 105
degrees).

The references to suffering and the Four Noble Truths relate to my post #2705
about how the Brahmaviharas underlie the whole practice. Also the Four Noble
Truths aren't just about suffering but the Third Noble Truth on the cessation of
suffering is associated with mudita (I never thought of that before – thanks for
listening!)

With metta / Antony.

Sent:  Friday, 4 December 2009 2:50:18 PM
To:  Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Buddhaviharas] The Sense of Urgency by Nyanaponika Thera‏

"One who has clear and direct vision, stirred to a sense of urgency (samvega) by
things which are deeply moving, will experience a release of energy and courage
enabling him to break through his timid hesitations and his rigid routine of
life and thought. If that sense of urgency is kept alive, it will bestow the
earnestness and persistence required for the work of liberation.

Thus said the teachers of old:

"This very world here is our field of action.
It harbors the unfoldment of the holy path,
And many things to break complacency,
Be stirred by things which may well move the heart,
And being stirred, strive wisely and fight on!"

Our closest surroundings are full of stirring things. If we generally do not
perceive them as such, that is because habit has made our vision dull and our
heart insensitive. The same thing happens to us even with the Buddha's teaching.
When we first encounter the teaching, we receive a powerful intellectual and
emotional stimulation; but gradually the impetus tends to lose its original
freshness and impelling force. The remedy is to constantly renew it by turning
to the fullness of life around us, which illustrates the Four Noble Truths in
ever new variations. A direct vision will impart new lifeblood even to the most
common experiences of every day, so that their true nature appears through the
dim haze of habit and speaks to us with a fresh voice. It may well be just the
long accustomed sight of the beggar at the street corner, or a weeping child, or
the illness of a friend, which startles us afresh, makes us think, and stirs our
sense of urgency in treading resolutely the path that leads to the cessation of
suffering.

We know the beautiful account of how Prince Siddhattha first came face to face
with old age, illness and death while driving his chariot through the royal city
after a long period of isolation in a make-believe world. This ancient story may
well be historical fact, for we know that in the lives of many great men common
events often gain a symbolic significance and lead to major consequences far
beyond their ordinary appearance. Great minds find significance in the seemingly
commonplace and invest the fleeting moment with far-reaching efficacy. But,
without contesting the inner truth of that old story, we may reasonably believe
that the young prince had actually seen before, with his fleshly eyes, old
people, sick people, and those who had succumbed to death. However, on all these
earlier occasions, he would not have been touched very deeply by these sights —
as is the case with most of us most of the time. That earlier lack of
sensitivity may have been due to the carefully protected, artificial seclusion
of his petty, though princely, happiness, the hereditary routine of his life
into which his father had placed him. Only when he broke through the golden cage
of easy-going habits could the facts of suffering strike him as forcibly as if
he had seen them for the first time. Then only was he stirred by them to a sense
of urgency that led him out of the home life and set his feet firmly on the road
to enlightenment.

The more clearly and deeply our minds and hearts respond to the truth of
suffering manifest in the very common facts of our existence, the less often
shall we need a repetition of the lesson and the shorter will be our migration
through samsara. The clarity of perception evoking our response will come from
an undeflected directness of vision, bestowed by bare attention (sati); and the
depth of experience will come from wise reflection or clear comprehension
(sampajañña)."
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel121.html
From: The Power of Mindfulness
An Inquiry into the Scope of Bare Attention and the Principal Sources of its
Strength
By Nyanaponika Thera
For Free Distribution, as a gift of Dhamma, from Access to Insight and the
Buddhist Publication Society http://www.bps.lk

Antony: Also see my Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/samvega

With metta / Antony.

"One who has clear and direct vision, stirred to a sense of urgency (samvega) by
things which are deeply moving, will experience a release of energy and courage
enabling him to break through his timid hesitations and his rigid routine of
life and thought. If that sense of urgency is kept alive, it will bestow the
earnestness and persistence required for the work of liberation.

Thus said the teachers of old:

     "This very world here is our field of action.
     It harbors the unfoldment of the holy path,
     And many things to break complacency,
     Be stirred by things which may well move the heart,
     And being stirred, strive wisely and fight on!"

Our closest surroundings are full of stirring things. If we generally do not
perceive them as such, that is because habit has made our vision dull and our
heart insensitive. The same thing happens to us even with the Buddha's teaching.
When we first encounter the teaching, we receive a powerful intellectual and
emotional stimulation; but gradually the impetus tends to lose its original
freshness and impelling force. The remedy is to constantly renew it by turning
to the fullness of life around us, which illustrates the Four Noble Truths in
ever new variations. A direct vision will impart new lifeblood even to the most
common experiences of every day, so that their true nature appears through the
dim haze of habit and speaks to us with a fresh voice. It may well be just the
long accustomed sight of the beggar at the street corner, or a weeping child, or
the illness of a friend, which startles us afresh, makes us think, and stirs our
sense of urgency in treading resolutely the path that leads to the cessation of
suffering.

We know the beautiful account of how Prince Siddhattha first came face to face
with old age, illness and death while driving his chariot through the royal city
after a long period of isolation in a make-believe world. This ancient story may
well be historical fact, for we know that in the lives of many great men common
events often gain a symbolic significance and lead to major consequences far
beyond their ordinary appearance. Great minds find significance in the seemingly
commonplace and invest the fleeting moment with far-reaching efficacy. But,
without contesting the inner truth of that old story, we may reasonably believe
that the young prince had actually seen before, with his fleshly eyes, old
people, sick people, and those who had succumbed to death. However, on all these
earlier occasions, he would not have been touched very deeply by these sights —
as is the case with most of us most of the time. That earlier lack of
sensitivity may have been due to the carefully protected, artificial seclusion
of his petty, though princely, happiness, the hereditary routine of his life
into which his father had placed him. Only when he broke through the golden cage
of easy-going habits could the facts of suffering strike him as forcibly as if
he had seen them for the first time. Then only was he stirred by them to a sense
of urgency that led him out of the home life and set his feet firmly on the road
to enlightenment.

The more clearly and deeply our minds and hearts respond to the truth of
suffering manifest in the very common facts of our existence, the less often
shall we need a repetition of the lesson and the shorter will be our migration
through samsara. The clarity of perception evoking our response will come from
an undeflected directness of vision, bestowed by bare attention (sati); and the
depth of experience will come from wise reflection or clear comprehension
(sampajañña)."
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel121.html
From: The Power of Mindfulness
An Inquiry into the Scope of Bare Attention and the Principal Sources of its
Strength
By Nyanaponika Thera
For Free Distribution, as a gift of Dhamma, from Access to Insight and the
Buddhist Publication Society http://www.bps.lk

Antony: Also see my Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/samvega

With metta / Antony.

----- Original Message -----
From: Rick Hanson
To: sharonwerner@...
Sent: Wednesday, November 25, 2009 7:01 AM
Subject: Have compassion for yourself - Just One Thing


                   Hello,


                   The topic in this issue is important year-round . . . but
there is a certain something about the holidays that stirs things up inside! And
then a pinch (or bucket) of self-compassion can really help.



                   Good wishes,


                   Rick
                   11/25/09 |  # 6




                         Just One Thing






                         "Just One Thing" is the free newsletter that suggests a
simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling
relationships, and more peace of mind.

                         A small thing repeated each day adds up over time to
produce big results.

                         Just one thing that could change your life.


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by Jack Kornfield, Ph.D. - it's full of effective ways to use your mind to
change your brain to benefit your whole being.





                         This newsletter comes from Rick Hanson, Ph.D., a
neuropsychologist, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and
Contemplative Wisdom, and author of Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience
of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom.

                         See Rick's workshops and lectures for therapists and the
general public.



                         What's Next Week

                         Do what you can.


                         Click here for past issues of Just One Thing.


                  Do Your Own Struggles
                               Matter to You?

                               The Practice

                               Have compassion for yourself.


                               Why?

                               Life is full of wonderful things, but it has its
hard parts as well. These difficulties come in two forms:
                               ·  The "first darts" of unavoidable physical and
mental pain (e.g., illness, aging, death, grief at losing a loved one)

                               ·  The "second darts" of the upsetting reactions
we add to life, including the first darts it sometimes throws; these include
fearing that things are worse than they really are, getting irritated over
little things, unfair self-criticism, and brooding over the past; these are the
darts we throw ourselves, often automatically.

                               When first and second darts land on those we care
about, we naturally feel compassion: the wish that others not suffer, along with
heartfelt feelings of caring. For example, if you have a child and he falls and
hurts himself, you want him to be out of pain; if you hear that a friend is in
the hospital, or out of work, or going through a divorce, you feel for her and
hope that everything will be alright. That is compassion for others.

                               And you can have the same feelings of compassion
for yourself. Self-compassion simply means feeling some warmth and concern, and
wishing that you would feel better. Studies by Paul Gilbert, Mark Leary, and
others have shown that it has many benefits:
                               ·  Reducing self-criticism
                               ·  Lowering stress hormones like cortisol
                               ·  Increasing positive "heart-rate variability,"
which is linked to a stronger immune and cardiovascular system
                               ·  Increasing positive "approach behaviors" like
being friendly or kind, getting support, or feeling more confident about
pursuing your goals
                               ·  Increasing self-soothing, self-encouragement,
and other aspects of resilience
                               ·  Helping to heal any shortages of caring from
others in your childhood

                               That's a pretty good list!

                               Self-compassion is not self-pity. It simply
recognizes "this is tough, this hurts," along with a sense that your feelings
matter. Rather than just "wallowing in pain," it is the beginning of doing
something about  it.

                               Most times of self-compassion last only a handful
of seconds. And then - more centered and heartened - you can get on with doing
what you can to make your life better.

                               How?

                               Maybe your back hurts, or you've had a miserable
day at work, or someone has just barked at you unfairly. Or perhaps there are
more global issues, like a chronic illness or financial problems. Or, honestly,
maybe you just feel bad, even depressed. Whatever it is, some self-compassion
could help. Now what?

                               Self-compassion comes naturally for some people
(particularly those with a well-nurtured childhood). But it's not that easy for
a lot of us, especially those who are self-critical, driven, stoic, or think
it's self-indulgent to be caring toward themselves.

                               So here are some explicit steps for calling up
self-compassion, which you would blend together quickly (and privately) in the
flow of daily life once it's easy to feel compassionately toward yourself:
                               ·  Take a moment to acknowledge your own pain.

                               ·  Bring to mind the feeling of being with someone
you know cares about you. Perhaps a dear friend, a family member, a spirit, God
. . . even a pet. Let yourself feel that you matter to them, that they want you
to feel good and do well in life.

                               ·  Bring to mind whatever it is that is hard for
you right now, and imagine that this person is feeling and expressing compassion
for you. Imagine his or her facial expression gestures, stance, and attitude
toward you. Let yourself receive this compassion, and take it in. Take in the
warmth, concern, and good will. Let yourself feel calmer, more settled - somehow
feeling better even though the situation itself hasn't changed yet.

                               ·  Imagine someone you naturally feel a lot of
compassion for. Perhaps a child, or a family member. Imagine how you would feel
toward that person if he or she were dealing with whatever is hard for you. Let
those feelings of compassion fill your body. Extend them toward that person,
perhaps visualized as a kind of light radiating from you (maybe from your
heart). Notice what it feels like to be compassionate.

                               ·  Now extend those same feelings of compassion
toward yourself. Perhaps accompany them with words like these, heard softly in
the back of your mind: "May I not feel angry . . . may things improve for me . .
." Have some warmth for yourself, some recognition that you feel bad, some wish
for things to get better. Feel that this compassion is sinking into you. Don't
worry if you deserve to receive compassion; pain is pain, whether it's from a
first or second dart.


                               *     *     *

                               If any of these steps is hard for you, that's
common, and alright. Just do what you can; usually, with some practice, each one
of them can be really felt. Then the steps will fall away, and there will simply
be the experience of compassion for yourself.

                               For some people, the effort to bring compassion to
themselves stirs up old feelings of worthlessness and self-criticism. If that
comes up for you, it's OK, just part of the process of healing. If you can, be
compassionate about your difficulties in being compassionate toward yourself.
And in particular, go back to the step of feeling that others are compassionate
toward you.

                               Throughout, remember that compassion is natural,
both directed at others and toward yourself. It is part of the ancient neural
and psychological systems we developed over the course of evolution to take care
of the young, and bond with others. Mother Nature is on your side. And by
receiving compassion - even from yourself - now you have even more to give to
others.



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can unsubscribe any time.)










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       Rick Hanson, Ph.D. | 25 Mitchell Blvd. | Suite 3 | San Rafael | CA | 94903



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

"Suppose that a man
were to come along
carrying a burning grass torch
and saying,
'With this burning grass torch
I will heat up the river Ganges and make it boil.'
Now, what do you think —
would he, with that burning grass torch,
heat up the river Ganges and make it boil?"

"No, lord.
Why is that? Because the river Ganges is deep & enormous.
It's not easy to heat it up
and make it boil with a burning grass torch.
The man would reap only a share of weariness & disappointment."

"In the same way, monks,
there are these five aspects of speech
by which others may address you:
timely or untimely,
true or false,
affectionate or harsh,
beneficial or unbeneficial,
with a mind of good-will or with inner hate.
Others may address you
in a timely way or an untimely way.
They may address you
with what is true or what is false.
They may address you
in an affectionate way or a harsh way.
They may address you
in a beneficial way or an unbeneficial way.
They may address you
with a mind of good-will or with inner hate.
In any event, you should train yourselves:
'Our minds will be unaffected
and we will say no evil words.
We will remain sympathetic to that person's welfare,
with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate.
We will keep pervading him
with an awareness imbued with good will
and, beginning with him,
we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world
with an awareness imbued with good will
equal to the river Ganges —
abundant, expansive, immeasurable,
free from hostility, free from ill will.'
That's how you should train yourselves."
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.021x.than.html
From: Majjhima Nikaya 21
Kakacupama Sutta
The Simile of the Saw (excerpt)
Translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu
For Free Distribution, as a gift of Dhamma, from Access to Insight and
Thanissaro Bhikkhu

With metta / Antony.

"We all long for joy. Some of us strive for what we think will bring
us joy so intensely that we will sacrifice anything and everything to
get to it. Take the workaholics in my life: if we just have a little
more, do a little more. There is one more deal to be made, one more
room to build, an extra report that I could finish before tomorrow, a
speech that will make me better known and richer.

"If we're lucky (yes - lucky), some catastrophe will knock us right
off this tail-chasing track. Maybe we'll be lucky enough to lose our
job, or a race, or our house, or our money. And at the very moment
that we feel like a failure, we are given an extraordinary
opportunity to learn the truth about joy: Joy is never in the stuff
of our lives, nor is it in the opinions of others or wanting to think
we're special. Humility is what allows us to live our lives fully,
giving each moment the attention it deserves. Humility is the
absence of greed or desire, of wanting things we don't have and
probably don't need."

~ Geri Larkin, "Tap Dancing in Zen"
Celestial Arts, 2000

"1. Metta: benevolence, friendliness, good will, love in the true sense.
2. Karuna: compassion, sympathy, pity,
aspiring to find a way to be truly helpful.
3. Mudita: appreciation for the goodness of other people
and for our own when we are able to help them.
4. Upekkha: When our efforts to be of help don't succeed,
we should make the mind neutral —
neither pleased nor upset by whatever it focuses on —
so that it enters the emptiness of jhana,
centered and tranquil to the point
where it can disregard acts of thinking and evaluating
as well as feelings of rapture and ease,
leaving only oneness and equanimity
with regard to all objects and preoccupations."
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/lee/themes.html
From: Basic Themes by Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo
Translated from the Thai by Thanissaro Bhikkhu
For Free Distribution, as a gift of Dhamma, from Access to Insight and
Thanissaro Bhikkhu

With metta / Antony.

"When we practice mindfulness, one of the qualities that we are
developing is empathy. As we open to the full range of experiences
within ourselves, we become aware of what we perceive in each moment,
no longer denying some feelings while clinging to others. By coming
to know our own pain, we build a bridge to the pain of others, which
enables us to step out of our self-absorption and offer help. And
when we actually understand how it feels to suffer - in ourselves and
in others - we are compelled to live in a way that creates as little
harm as possible.

"With empathy acting as a bridge to those around us, a true morality
arises within. Knowing that someone will suffer if we perform a
harmful action or say a hurtful word, we find we do these things less
and less. It is a very simple, natural, and heart-full response.
Rather than seeing morality as a set of rules, we find a morality
that is an uncontrived reluctance to cause suffering."

~ Sharon Salzberg, "A Heart as Wide as the World: Stories on the Path
of Lovingkindess," Shambhala Publications, 1997.


May this be of benefit.

"The four states differ in their character and also in terms of the illness that
they are applied to. Kindness has a nourishing quality; it has the intent to
touch into the good and then to extend it. Compassion is the protective intent:
to sense the afflicted, shield it from further damage and heal it. Empathic joy
senses and participates in others' goodness and good fortune; equanimity
serenely stays with the good and the bad, understanding them both to be
kamma-processes rather than personal belongings."
http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/article_print/1531/
From: Theory: The Sublime States
Meditation: A Way of Awakening - Chapter Eleven
By Ajahn Sucitto

With metta / Antony.

"As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through
life - delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay - I hold this question as a guiding
light: 'What do I really need right now to be happy?'  What I come to over and
over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection, and
kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way."

~ Sharon Salzberg, The Kindness Handbook, ReadHowYouWant (publisher), paperback
edition, September, 2009


May this be of benefit.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

"Abandon what is unskillful,
One can abandon the unskillful,
If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do so.
If this abandoning of the unskillful would bring harm and
suffering,
I would not ask you to abandon it.
But as the abandoning of the unskillful brings benefit and
happiness,
Therefore, I say, 'Abandon what is unskillful'

Cultivate the good,
You can cultivate the good.
If it were not possible, I would not ask you to do it.
If this cultivation of the good would bring harm and suffering,
I would not ask you to cultivate it.
But as the cultivation of the good brings benefit and happiness,
Therefore, I say, 'Cultivate what is good!'"

Anguttara-Nikaya 2:19

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sharon Salzberg's Commentary:

"This passage is one of my favorite passages for many reasons. It beautifully
exemplifies the extraordinary compassion of the Buddha. The mind of the Buddha
sees only suffering and the end of suffering, and exhorts those heading toward
suffering to take care, to pay attention, rather than condemning them. He sees
those heading towards the end of suffering and rejoices for them.

It also inspires a feeling of self-confidence within one -- it can be done... I
can do it. Many times if I find difficulty in the teaching, when I am very
honest about it, it is because I fear I am not capable of actualizing it. When I
feel confidence in myself, my love for the teachings grows exponentially."

(An edited version appears in The Kindness Handbook: A Practical Companion by
Sharon Salzberg)

With metta / Antony.

Those of us in the States are again celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm
posting my annual reflection on gratitude as follows from Ven.
Thubten Chodron. For those who prefer a guide audio meditation, you
can follow this link:

http://www.thubtenchodron.org/Meditation/index.html#Others

and look for:

Love, Compassion & Altruism: Meditations on Kindness, Gratitude &
Love (realplayer audio)


***********************************************************

"And as we contemplate this benefit we've received or the kindness
we've received from others, let's let our heart open in a feeling of
gratitude towards them. This gratitude does not mean a feeling of
obligation but a real warmth and open-heartedness, and feeling of
connection and happiness, and affection, when we see others.

"So begin by thinking of the benefit that we've received, the
kindness we've received from our friends and relatives. The help
they've given us in moving house, or when we've been sick, in
encouraging us in our projects, in listening to us when we have
something we want to talk over with them. So think of all of the
various ways that we have been helped and supported by our friends.

"And as we contemplate this, we don't want to let the attitude of
attachment and clinging arise towards these friends. We don't want
to cling to them because they've helped us, but simply to
acknowledge the kindness that they've shown so that we don't take
them for granted, so that we don't just expect their kindness and
fail to recognize it.

"So by making some examples from your own life, really reflect for a
few minutes on the kindness that you've received from your friends
and those who are dear to you.

[Pause]

"Our friends encourage us when we're feeling down. They're kind in
often pointing out our faults to us in kind ways so that we can
correct them. They take care of us when we're ill. They do many
small favors for us in our life. They just make life easier. And
we're able to share a lot of things with them. And so really
appreciate our friends. Let's not take them for granted. And really
feel ourselves as the recipient of their care and let our heart open
in a feeling of gratitude and affection towards them.

[Pause]

"Then we consider the kindness of strangers. So here we think about
all the people whom we don't know, without whose efforts, we
wouldn't be able to function, we wouldn't be able to survive. Think
of all the people and the animals, all the living creatures that go
into growing our food, transforming the food, packaging it and
selling it. All the people who work in the mines, at the iron and
the steel factories, the truck factories and the automobile
factories, to produce the vehicles that then we drive, or the
vehicles that transport our food to the store. Let's think of all
the people who build the roads that we drive on. People who work at
the public utilities board so that we have gas and electricity and
water, things we take so much for granted. That we wouldn't have
these things without the work and the effort of so many people.
Think of the people who work at the telephone company. Think of the
people who work in government offices. Again our lives are so
intertwined with everybody in the society, not just in our own
country and community, but internationally now. That we've received
so much from these others. We don't know the people who made our
house, [inaudible] electricians, the carpenters, [inaudible]
engineers, construction workers – so many people made our home and
made the office we work in, the other buildings we use, so let's
open our heart to feel the connection and gratitude to them for all
the work they've done. They may not have had us in mind particularly
when they did their work, but that's not important. The bottom-line
is, that they worked hard, and we're receiving benefit from them.
And we don't even know who those people are to be able to thank them.
When we think of how many goods we use that have been made in other
countries, who are those people who made the goods, what are their
[inaudible] conditions, what pain and happiness do they have, and
think of how we use the things that they've made with so much
effort, and we don't even know who they are to be able to say "Thank
you". And yet without their efforts and their actions, we wouldn't
have the things that we use in our daily life. So make many, many,
many examples from your life. Just take one object in the room where
you are, and trace back how many living beings were involved in its
existence. How many living beings we've received kindness from. And
again let your heart open in a feeling of gratitude and affection
for those beings, even though we don't know them, because they
have been kind to us.

[Pause]

"And let's think specifically of the kindness of our family. The fact
that as infants, we couldn't take care of ourselves. We couldn't
feed and clothe ourselves, protect ourselves from the elements.
Others took care of us. Often our parents are the direct care-
givers, sometimes our parents couldn't take care of us, so they
arranged for other adults to take care of us. They wanted us to
live, they made other arrangements even though they couldn't do it.
And we've received benefit from those other adults.

"So think of all the time we spent as infants – people feeding us,
changing our diapers, cuddling us when we cried, all the times
they've had to rescue us when we almost fell off the edge of the bed
or choked on something that we've stuck in our mouth. Those of you
who have children know how much care it takes to take care of
infants and toddlers, and we've been recipient of that exact same
care simply because of the fact that we have lived. Others protected
us during that time when we couldn't take care of ourselves. They
taught us to speak. Our family also is generally involved in our
education. So our ability to speak and communicate, we often take
for granted, but we don't have this ability by ourselves. It's
because our family taught us. We don't have our education by
ourselves, and our knowledge by ourselves, it's because our family
taught us, or they sent us to school and made arrangements for other
people to teach us. Because they encouraged us to learn. It's very
important to reflect on the kindness of our family or whichever
adults took care of us when we were young, and also the kindness of
our teachers. All the teachers who had thirty kids in their class
tried to take care of us the best they could. They didn't give up on
us even though sometimes we acted quite obnoxiously.

"It's important to be able to look into our childhood, at our parents
and our teachers, and reflect on their kindness, and reflect on how
difficult it must have been on them sometimes to raise us and to
bring us up. Because as children, we may not have been the easiest
people to be with, the most cooperative living being. They often had
to discipline us, to teach us some manners, to teach us how to get
along with others, and even though we didn't like their discipline,
somehow we did learn that we have to be aware of and be sensitive to
others' needs and concerns, we can't just trample through life not
caring how we affect others. So we learn this from our parents, our
family, from our teachers. And in spite of things that may not have
gone well in our childhood, different painful things that may have
happened, the fact still remains that we do receive a tremendous
amount of benefit from others. So let's let ourselves feel the
recipient of that benefit and kindness, and open our hearts in a
sensation of gratitude and affection in return.

[Pause]

"And then let's think of the benefit we've received even from people
who have harmed us. In spite of the harm we've received from others,
we have all grown. And actually it's not even in spite of the harm,
it's because of the harm, and if we look back upon those painful
episodes in our life, we can see that we did come out of them
stronger, we developed our own internal resources, we were shaken up
and challenged out of our complacency, and so this growth, although
it may have been painful, although it may have been difficult,
although we may have felt we weren't ready for it yet, still, we
grew, we've developed, and all of that came about due to the people
who did harm us and challenge us, the people who put us in difficult
situations.

"So if we can appreciate our own internal strength and resources,
then we can also appreciate the people who cause those qualities to
develop. And feel some gratitude towards them. In other words,
people don't have to wish us well in order for us to benefit
from them. And we can still feel gratitude and affection no matter
how they treated us or what their attitude towards us was, simply by
the fact that we did benefit from what they did.

"And the people who harmed us, or who make us feel threatened, people
who we disapprove of, also gave us the opportunity to practice
patience. We can't practice patience with people who're kind to us.
We can only practice patience with the people who threatened us or
who we disapprove of or who have harmed us. The development of
patience is a very essential quality for spiritual practice, and
this arises on the basis of the people who have disturbed us.
So again, we have received a lot of benefit from those people
because without them, we couldn't develop patience. Without
patience, we couldn't develop ourselves spiritually or internally to
be of greater benefit. So let's let ourselves feel a sense of
gratitude also towards the people who we don't get along with very
well, or who we mistrust, because they've enabled us to practice
patience, because they've enabled us to find internal resources and
talents and skills and qualities to cope with difficult situations
that we didn't know we had before.

[Pause]

"And so let your mind rest in this feeling of affection and
gratitude. As that feeling arises, then let your mind rest in it.
Let your mind become stable in that feeling of gratitude and
affection.

"Keep the mind focused on that feeling without letting it get
distracted towards other things."


Excerpted from meditation "Reflecting on the Kindness of Others,"
www.thubtenchodron.com


May this be of benefit.  May all beings find much to be thankful for.

"Our potential to love is very real and is somehow not destroyed, no matter what
we experience: all of the mistakes that we might make, all of the times that we
are caught in reaction, all of the times we have caused pain, all of the times
we have suffered.  Throughout everything, our potential to love remains intact
and pure."

~ Sharon Salzberg, "Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness,"
Shambhala Publications.


May this be of benefit.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I agree.  These are skills that can be cultivated.  I love the story that the
Buddha originally taught metta meditation to monks as an antidote to fear.



--- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "antony272b2" <antony272b@...> wrote:
>
> "Like medicine, meditation is not something for which one needs an aptitude,
but a prescription for illness – the illness called `delusion.'"
> ~ Cynthia Thatcher "Just Seeing: Insight Meditation and Sense-Perception",
Buddhist Publication Society http://www.bps.lk
>
> Antony: This is a delightful perspective on what is meant by meditation being
a skill. I like listening to Ven Thubten Chodron saying "Apply the antidotes".
An empowering attitude.
>
> With metta / Antony.
>

"Like medicine, meditation is not something for which one needs an aptitude, but
a prescription for illness – the illness called `delusion.'"
~ Cynthia Thatcher "Just Seeing: Insight Meditation and Sense-Perception",
Buddhist Publication Society http://www.bps.lk

Antony: This is a delightful perspective on what is meant by meditation being a
skill. I like listening to Ven Thubten Chodron saying "Apply the antidotes". An
empowering attitude.

With metta / Antony.

"Before going to sleep it's useful to practice loving-kindness meditation. 
Having done that as the very last thing at night, it will be in one's mind first
thing in the morning. The Buddha's words about loving-kindness were: 'One goes 
to sleep happily, one dreams no evil dreams, and one wakes happily.' What more
can one ask?"

~ Ven. Ayya Khema, "To Be Seen Here and Now: Ten Dhamma Talks from a meditation
retreat at Pelmadulla Bhikkhu Training Centre, Sri Lanka"

The entire article can be found at:

http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/khema/hereandnow/index.php


May this be of benefit. /o\

"In developing metta towards others, priority should be given to one's own self.
It is stated that first and foremost metta should be developed towards one's own
self giving voice to "May I be happy and free from misery." Or, "May I be free
from danger, mental distress, bodily suffering, and be able to shoulder the
burden of one's own khandha (material body) with happiness." In developing metta
for one's own well-being, the intention, of course, is not to acquire merits.
Nor is it developed to gain samadhi (concentration). It is meant to serve as an
example by comparison that others also wish to be happy like he himself wishes
to be. One may be developing metta as: "May I be happy" for years and years,
nay, for a hundred or thousand years, but there is no possibility of achieving
appana-samadhi. If one is developing metta for his own well-being expressing his
own sentiment, "May I be happy", it would serve as an evidence, or rather, stand
witness to the fact that others would also wish to be happy, or, to live happily
and be alive and also be free from misery as he himself wishes to be so. That is
the reason why instruction has been given to develop metta towards one's own
Self, or one's own wellbeing initially when beginning with the exercise. The
Visuddhimagga has said so. The Enlightened One has made an exposition by
preaching a Verse as quoted below which indicates that a person loves his own
self the most.

       Sabba disa anuparigamma' cetasa nevalihaga piyatara' mattana kvaci. Evam
piyo puthu atta pareysam, tasama na him se paramattakamo.

Sabba disa - all ten regions or places, cetasa - with imagination or thoughts,
anuparigamma - going round and round in search of, attana piyataram - a person
who deserves more love and affection than one's own Self, kvaci - in any place
or anywhere, neva allhaga - cannot be found. Evam, Similarly, pareysam - other
people also, puthu atta - with reference to their own respective Self, piyo -
love (himself) the most. Tasama - Inasmuch as every being loves his own Self the
most, attakamo - one who loves his own Self, nay, who cares most of his own
welfare or for his own good, param - will not cause another person, na him se -
suffer, misery, nay, should develop metta without causing misery to others."
http://www.buddhanet.net/brahmaviharas/bvd020.htm
From: Brahmavihara Dhamma by Ven Mahasi Sayadaw

Antony: I like the words "giving voice" and "stand witness". A superb
translator.

With metta / Antony.

Hi Sharon,

All the videos are from the Charter of Compassion interfaith movement. Bhante
Sujato appears briefly in the Australians on Compassion clip. He wrote on his
blog:
"I've been following the development of the global Charter of Compassion, an
idea developed by the wonderful Karen Armstrong following her receipt of the TED
prize. This is a truly powerful idea, one that I hope will have a great impact
on how we see ourselves as humanity.

The final Charter of Compassion is to be unveiled on November 12, and I hope you
will all follow and support this initiative.

I was honored to be invited to take part in a multi-faith photograph for the
Charter tomorrow at the Opera House. I love doing interfaith work so much, there
are so many wise and compassionate people out there.

We all need to do our bit to use religion to respond creatively and
constructively to our environment, making it a force for helping rather than
hurting, fostering love and inclusiveness, not alienation and ignorance."
http://sujato.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/charter-of-compassion/

His address, including reference to the Ajahn Brahm Bhikkhuni ordination
controversy, can be found here:
http://sujato.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/charter-for-compassion-2/

With metta / Antony.

--- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "shar_63" <sharonwerner@...> wrote:
>
> Wonderful!  Are they taught by one particular teacher, or a variety of
teachers?
>
> In lovingkindness,
>
> Sharon
>
> --- In Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com, "antony272b2" <antony272b@> wrote:
> >
> > Dear Sharon and Group,
> >
> > I just collected 11 links to short youtube videos on Compassion
> >
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Buddhaviharas/links/youtube_videos_on_Compassion_e\
tc__001258709150/
> >
> > Enjoy!
> >
> > With metta / Antony.
> >
>

"The kindest thing you can do
for the people you care about
is to become a happy, joyous person."
From: Great Little Book on Personal Achievement by Brian Tracy, Career
Press, 1997

With metta / Antony.