5th Edition - September 6, 2000

If you have problems reading this email it probably means that your email package does not support html.  Go to http://www.asktherick.com to view it in all of its glory.

Hello and welcome to the fifth edition of Ask The Rick, bringing you more than you every wanted to know about crap you never cared about, each and every week

Last week was quite a banner week for Ask the Rick with over twenty new questions added to the Hopper, another international subscriber (a chap by the name of James Lewis in jolly old England), 16 correct Trivia answers and half dozen or so good posts on the Message Board.  Keep it up guys!   Sleep deprivation is at least tolerable when you know that at least some people are actually reading this thing.

To answer everyone who has emailed me asking what day of the week is Ask The Rick going to be published week in and week out.  The answer is simple.  When I finish it.  To quote Ask The Rick member and software mogul John Stigaard, "it wouldn't be Ask the Rick if it was on time".

So go grab yourself a cup of Colombia's finest, sit back, relax and enjoy.  You might want to put on another pot, this one is literally too hot to hoot! 

This Week's Question

What is the longest English palindrome?
   - Darren Trizzino

Wow!  Great question.

For those of you who do not know what a Palindrome is, it is a word, phrase or number that reads exactly the same backwards as forwards.  Examples include:

A
Mom
Dad
Sis Wow! Half your nuclear family is a palindrome and you probably never knew it
Kayak
RADAR
A Toyota Even your car may be palindrome
Murder for a jar of red rum
Stella won no wallets
A Santa at NASA

The Palindrome of Death

Palindromes have been around for over two thousand years.  The word palindrome actually comes from the Greek word palindromos which means running back again.

The earliest known Palindromist was Sotades, a rather scurrilous (translation - smart @#$) Greek poet who lived in Egypt during the reign of Ptolemy II Philadelphus (~276 B.C.).  Sotades wrote an infamous lampoon about Ptolemy's marriage to his own sister.   Insert your own Arkansas joke here.  It seems the King wasn't exactly a big fan of Sotades' sarcastic prose and ordered him sealed in a lead box and tossed into the sea.  Unfortunately no physical evidence of either Sotades or his witty palindromes remain.

Despite Sotades terrifying "burial" at sea, the Greeks continued their fascination with palindromes, although it seems they pretty much stopped making fun of the sexual habits of their rulers.  Clinton would have loved Ancient Greece.   Most Greek public fountains were engraved with the following inscription - Nispon anomimata mi monan opsin which loosely translates to "Wash the sins as well as the face".  This apparently was quite a catchy little palindrome as it has appeared in fountains and baptismals throughout Europe for over seven hundred years.

Yawn A More Roman Way

The ancient Romans also enjoyed a good palindrome, the most famous being n girum imus nocte et consumimur igni, which translates as "we enter the circle after dark and are consumed by fire".   It is said to describe the action of moths.  Sounds like a description of my old frat house front yard on the night after Homecoming. 

The King of all Palindromes

A man, a plan, a canal: Panama.  Written by Leigh Mercer in 1948 to honor Teddy Roosevelt and his role in the building of the Panama canal, it is considered the most famous palindrome in the English language.  It has become the yardstick if you will, by which all new Palindromes are measured.  For over one hundred years, writer, poets and programming geeks have been trying in vain to top this masterpiece. To this day it still remains the king of all palindromes.  

Other famous palindromes include:

"Madam, I'm Adam" - Mark Twain.  Perhaps the first words ever spoken were a palindrome.  Another variation is "Madam, in Eden, I'm Adam".   Eve herself was in fact a palindrome.

"Able was I ere I saw Elba" - This quote is often incorrectly attributed to Napoleon who was said to have said this after being exiled to the island of Elba.    It makes sense that Napoleon would utter these profound words given his situation and his legendary ego.  For those of you like myself with a limited vocabulary, ere means before or preceding.   The problem however is Napoleon was French and didn't speak much English.   Doubtful he would have even known what ere meant.  Besides he was more of the ruthless military dictator type as opposed to a word smithing Palindromist.

"Lewd I did live, evil did I dwel." - John Taylor, 1614.  The first English palindrome every written.  Quite popular with old school Palindromists.

Wonder if Sununu's fired now - Herb Caen.  Wonder no more Herb. Sununo got his walking paper close to nine years ago after President George Bush reluctantly gave his Secretary of State the o'le heave ho for using air force jets to fly he and his family on an exclusive ski vacation.  This scandal seems rather timid in light of the current administration's shenanigans the last eight years.  Herb actually penned this clever palindrome three months before Sununu officially got the ax.

Other famous and profound palindromes include: Niagra!  O roar again!, Draw, O coward! and Rise to vote sir.

Mr. Owl ate my metal worm and other goofy palindromes

The classic palindromes in the previous section however are the exceptions rather than rule.  Most palindromes don't make a whole lotta sense and in most cases are downright goofy. Now you see why this question rocketed through the hopper.  Some of my own personal favorites include:

Step on no pets - Not exactly the Golden rule, but words to live by none the less. Especially if you own fish.

Sex at noon.  Taxes - Bill Clinton's two favorite things.

I zany Nazi.   Colonel Klink's mantra, the zaniest Nazi known to man.  Come to think of it, the only Nazi that can even be in the same sentence with the word zany.

Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz' rat.   The visual of Tarzan in his loin cloth at the Tropicana chasing a rat around the dance floor while Ricky sings Babbaloo simply makes me laugh.  "Tarzan, you got some splaining to do!"

Rats live on no evil star - I need to move my barbecue grill to an evil star.  If you have ever grilled out at my house, don't worry.  We have "forest rats" which are much cuter than your typical run of the mill city disease ridden city rat. 

"Naomi",  I moan -  I once knew a guy who dated a girl named Naomi.  He loved to share the fact with everyone he met that her name spelled backwards was I moan.   I once dated a girl in high school be the name of Naom D. Nahctibi but that is a whole different story.

The tortured life of a Palindromist

Writing new an original palindromes now a days is almost next to impossible.   All the good ones have already been written and computer geeks have generated just about every conceivable palindrome combination.  Alastair Reid, a dedicated palindrome writer (and you think I have no life) summed up the quest for a good palindrome in this way:

"The dream which preoccupies the tortuous mind of every Palindromist is that somewhere within the confines of the language lurks the Great Palindrome, a nutshell which not only fulfils the intricate demands of the art, flowing sweetly in both directions, but which also contains the Final Truth of Things."

Back in my younger days, I once fashioned myself as an bright aspiring Palindromist.  I attempted to write a Children's short story containing palindromes (working title - Otto my Pal in Drome).  Sort of a cross between Dr. Seus and J.R. Tolkien.  The book however was horrible, and was neither funny or clever.  In fact it was rater disturbing.  Quite frankly I think it would have scared small children. I feel your pain Alastair, I feel your pain.

Note: Get On to the Question

Oh yea, the question - What is the longest English palindrome?. 

The Longest Single Word Palindromes

If we are talking about single word palindromes, the answer depends on who decides if the word is actually is a word: Oxford, Webster or Guinness.

TATTARRATTAT is the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary 2nd edition (OED2).  The OED2 is actually a historical dictionary of English, covering the language from the earliest times to the present day. Therefore it contains words like Tarrarrattat that are considered "nonce words".  In fact, according to OED2 the word was only used once in the history of published literature by James Joyce in his 1921 novel Ulysses: "I knew his tattarrattat at the door."

I'm sorry but I just don't get that.  Because your a famous novelist  you can just go off and make up words like that wily nily and have them end up in a dictionary.   With that logic since this newsletter is technically published, I proclaim the longest palindrome to be ASKTHERICKKCIREHTKSA.  

Forgot I even mentioned TATTARRATTAT.

KINNIKINNIK is the longest palindrome in Webster's Third Edition (W3).  W3 defines it as "A mixture used by North American Indians as a substitute for tobacco, or for mixing with it; the commonest ingredients are dried sumach-leaves and the inner bark of dogwood or willow."  Sounds like an early version of Nicorate.

But the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records have an even longer one.  It is:

DETARTRATED - "a contrived chemical term".  It actually appears on the back of Concord grape juice - "Must be allowed to settle out by gravity - minimum of 6 weeks, before it's detartrated and ready to use."

Also sounds like a made up word to me, but I have always loved Guinness (both the beer and the World Record Book) so I'll go ahead and give the title to DETARTRATED.

The Longest Palindrome Phrase

The world's longest English palindrome phrase with no misspelled words and proper sentence syntax is:

A man, a plan, a caret, a ban, a myriad, a sum, a lac, a liar, a hoop, a pint, a catalpa, a gas, an oil, a bird, a yell, a vat, a caw, a pax, a wag, a tax, a nay, a ram, a cap, a yam, a gay, a tsar, a wall, a car, a luger, a ward, a bin, a woman, a vassal, a wolf, a tuna, a nit, a pall, a fret, a watt, a bay, a daub, a tan, a cab, a datum, a gall, a hat, a fag, a zap, a say, a jaw, a lay, a wet, a gallop, a tug, a trot, a trap, a tram, a torr, a caper, a top, a tonk, a toll, a ball, a fair, a sax, a minim, a tenor, a bass, a passer, a capital, a rut, an amen, a ted, a cabal, a tang, a sun, an ass, a maw, a sag, a jam, a dam, a sub, a salt, an axon, a sail, an ad, a wadi, a radian, a room, a rood, a rip, a tad, a pariah, a revel, a reel, a reed, a pool, a plug, a pin, a peek, a parabola, a dog, a pat, a cud, a nu, a fan, a pal, a rum, a nod, an eta, a lag, an eel, a batik, a mug, a mot, a nap, a maxim, a mood, a leek, a grub, a gob, a gel, a drab, a citadel, a total, a cedar, a tap, a gag, a rat, a manor, a bar, a gal, a cola, a pap, a yaw, a tab, a raj, a gab, a nag, a pagan, a bag, a jar, a bat, a way, a papa, a local, a gar, a baron, a mat, a rag, a gap, a tar, a decal, a tot, a led, a tic, a bard, a leg, a bog, a burg, a keel, a doom, a mix, a map, an atom, a gum, a kit, a baleen, a gala, a ten, a don, a mural, a pan, a faun, a ducat, a pagoda, a lob, a rap, a keep, a nip, a gulp, a loop, a deer, a leer, a lever, a hair, a pad, a tapir, a door, a moor, an aid, a raid, a wad, an alias, an ox, an atlas, a bus, a madam, a jag, a saw, a mass, an anus, a gnat, a lab, a cadet, an em, a natural, a tip, a caress, a pass, a baronet, a minimax, a sari, a fall, a ballot, a knot, a pot, a rep, a carrot, a mart, a part, a tort, a gut, a poll, a gateway, a law, a jay, a sap, a zag, a fat, a hall, a gamut, a dab, a can, a tabu, a day, a batt, a waterfall, a patina, a nut, a flow, a lass, a van, a mow, a nib, a draw, a regular, a call, a war, a stay, a gam, a yap, a cam, a ray, an ax, a tag, a wax, a paw, a cat, a valley, a drib, a lion, a saga, a plat, a catnip, a pooh, a rail, a calamus, a dairyman, a bater, a canal - Panama!

Of course it a variation of Leigh Mercer's classic and comes in at a whopping 543 words.  It was created in 1984 by Dan Hoey who, you guessed it, wrote a computer program to generate it.  While it makes absolutely no sense, it does have valid syntax and all words are spelled properly.

There are a few other palindromes that claim to be longer, but Ask The Rick disqualifies those because they contain proper names like Rolf and Fres.  You ever met a guy named Rolf?  Granted palindromes are hard to create, but you just can't go around making @#$% up. 

Wait a minute.  I do that every week...

"Actually…" – Ask The Rick member Jimmy Drew

• Some more of my favorite palindromes:

  • Lisa Bonet ate no basil.  I watched every episode of Cosby and the movie Angel Heart.  Not once did Lisa Bonet eat basil.  Amazing.

  • Do geese see god?  Deep.

  • Cigar?   Toss it in a can.  It is so tragic. - What Monica should have told Bill.

  • Dr. Awkward - My nickname on the dance floor

  • Lonely Tylenol - Much better than that that stuck up Bayer

  • Man, Oprah's sharp on AM.  And FM too I might add

  • Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram.  Finally a palindrome that is a normal sentence, albeit in the nineteenth century.

  • If I had a hi-fi... If I only had a dime for every time I uttered those words in the Summer of 79.

  • Damn! I, Agassi, miss again! Mad!   Uttered countless times at Wimbelton.

  • "Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod.  Would almost work for the Supreme Court except for Sandra and Ruth. 

  • A slut nixes sex in Tulsa.

  • Tulsa night life: filth, gin, a slut.   Man what's up with Tulsa?

  • Actors rot CA.  Pretty lame, but an Ask The Rick original.  It was the best of the worst however, beating out Leg gel, but on no tub, slap pals, and the infamous Wal-Mart Tram law. 

• The problem with most palindromes is that they rarely can be used in everyday speech.  Have no fear.  Ask The Rick can help.  Below are some tips to help you slip some classic palindromes into your everyday conversation, almost as seamlessly as Dennis Miller slips his obscure literary references into Monday Night football.  Man, what was ABC thinking? 

  • "Yo! Banana boy".  Stand in the produce section of your local Grocer.  Wait until the  minimum wage high school kid starts to restock the banana bin.  Yell this as loud as you can, making sure everyone in produce can hear.  His initial humiliation will quickly turn to pride once you explain to him that he was the subject of a witty palindrome. 

  • "Lew, Otto has a hot towel" - Step one - Find two guys named Lew and Otto.  Befriend them.   Step two - Heat a towel in boiling water.  Step three - Throw scolding towel at your new friend Otto.  Step four - Calmly inform Lew of the situation.  

  • "Go hang a salami.  I'm a lasagna hog" - Go to a fancy Italian restaurant and order two lasagna meals.  Eat the entire meal with your hands.  Make loud pig like noises as you chew.  When the Manager comes to curtail your disturbing behavior, yell this clever palindrome at the top of your lungs.  For added affect, stuff your head in your plate of Lasagna while you yell the last part.  Don't worry.  Once the Manager realizes that his entire establishment was witness to a quick-witted palindrome, he will most certainly comp your entire meal.  Fellow patrons will buy you drinks and hail you a Palondromic genius.

• All palindrome numbers with an even number of digits are divisible by 11.  For all you math Geeks, click here for a rather lengthy mathematical proof.

• Take any number between one and a ten thousand.  Add that number to its reversed digits.  Keep repeating and eventually you will get a palindrome number.  Example - 39.  39 +93 = 133.   133 + 331 = 464.  464 is a palindrome number.  The one exception is 196.  While this has not yet been proven mathematically, programming geeks have been working on this classic problem since the days of the Commodore 64 and have been unable to produce a palindrome, even after 2,415,836 iterations of the above procedure.  Man I really do need to get a life. 

• There is a town in California named Yreka and it had a bakery called, Yreka Bakery. It is the worlds' only know palindrome bakery.  Mmmmmmm! Palindrome bakery.

• The language with the most palindromes is far and away Finnish, with over 4000 coherent palindromes. Finland - Cell phones, palindromes and Polka.   Book the flight!  I'm going to Helsinki.

• Malayalam is the only language that is itself a palindrome.

• Got the palindrome bug?  Want to create the world's greatest palindrome?  Click here for a site that gives tips on creating palindromes.

• Another type of palindrome is a word unit palindrome in which the words, not the letters, are reversed in a sentence.  Classic examples include:

  • Women understand men.  Few men understand women. 

  • You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you?

  • One for all and all for one!  

  • God knows Man. What is doubtful is what man knows God.

  • Says Mom, ‘What do you do? You do what Mom says’.   You hear that Jane Claire.
  • First Ladies Rule the State and State the Rule – ‘Ladies First' - Hillary Rodham Clinton. 
• Another type of palindrome is an auditory palindrome.  A phrase which when played backwards (backward masking - see issue #1), produces the same results.   Examples include "ominous cinema" and "Wow, Man, Wow."

• Yet another type of palindrome is a symmetrical palindrome - a palindrome which reads the same left to right and upside down.  Examples include NO X IN NIXON, SWIMS, and NOON.  Yet another type is a mirror palindrome, a palindrome which appears the same when viewed in a mirror.  Examples include A TOYOTA and WOW.

If you were forwarded this email and would like to join Ask The Rick send an email to Ask-The-Rick-subscribe@egroups.com.

Conversation Piece: Must sell at tallest sum

I love Me: Vol. I is considered the Encyclopedia of Palindromes, and in my opinion is the ultimate coffee table book.  Weighing in at a hefty 400 pages and containing over 3,500 palindromes, this literary masterpiece will liven up any party.  People's initial utter disdain for your blatant narcissism will turn to fascination, once you explain to them your knowledge of the secret world of palindromes.

So proclaim both your love of palindromes and yourself today.  Like all Ask the Rick Conversation pieces, well worth the measly 15 shekels.    Click here to buy.

The Weekly Poll

Nothing to do with palindromes, but there is something I need to find out.

What do you think of Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football?

• Excellent.  Nothing goes better with smash mouth football than esoteric references to environmentalist poets

• Give him a chance.  Pretty lame so far but I like him on HBO.  Give him some time to mature.

• Loser with a capital L.

• Who cares?  I watch Alley McBeal.  AKA The Chick option.

• Great marketing ploy by ABC.  Regardless of what you think of him people are actually watching and talking about MNF again.

Click here to vote

Rick’s Site of the Week

Rick's site of the week this week is actually the Ask the Rick message board.   I know there have been some technical problems in weeks past, but CoolBoard (the guys who run it) assure me that all is well.  Go check it out and:

- Take this week's poll
- Comment on Dennis Miller
- Share Bill Garrity's pride of being an Ask The Rick member
- Defend Bill Gates and/or Blll Clinton.  Not one positive thing was said about either Bill.  Defend them or join the rest of us and pile on.
- Watch my Dad and cousin in a flame war.  Nothing new there.  You should see the Rittmeyer family web site.
- Comment on the Newsletter, Trivia Question or offer theories to questions in the hopper
- Meet members of the opposite sex.  For all you ladies out there, Ask the Rick has some very young, good looking, kind, successful, single, rich male members who enjoy quiet walks, watching Oprah and pointless trivia.  Take the time to meet them.  FTR - I am happily married and neither young, good looking or successful.  I do like to watch Oprah however whenever I am home sick.

Click here to enter the message board.

Rick’s Trivia

Issue #3 -The Infamous Moon Shot Question.  The question that will not die.

The controversy continues.  Ask The Rick member Eli Pickering completely discredited last week's answer of 1800 yards.  Apparently I forgot about air resistance and something called drag co-efficient. Who am I to argue?  For all of you NASA engineers out there (and their are actually a few in this group) be sure and check out Eli's detailed proof.  Nice work Mr. Pickering, you get 25 points.   Click here to see Eli's work.  All kidding aside, Eli did his homework on this one.

Last Weeks Question

What song contains lyrics that mention Heinz 57?  Include song title and artist.

Answer: Cheese Burger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffet

Yeah, yeah, I know.  It was way too easy.   Ask The Rick member Curt Linder was the first to get it right beating out John Huis by a mere 25 seconds.  Others correct entries included: Bob Rittmeyer, John Doherty, Jeff Argow, Debbie Muddler, Eli Pickering, Nick Matteucci, Kristal Dove, James Lewis, Bill Garrity, Jim Pigott, John Davison and Erol Yurtkuran.

International users got an extra point because of the time zone disadvantage.  The international users actually get an advantage this week because I am putting this thing out at four thirty in the friggen morning.

Bob Rittmeyer kept the top spot on the Leader Board with Eli Pickering and Jim Pigott in hot pursuit, trailing only 10 points behind. 

Also some interesting little facts from your fellow members as it related to this question:

According to Ask The Rick member Mike Pennington- "Jimmy Buffet attended Auburn.  Notice I didn't say he graduated.  He'd just hang around and play his guitar and people would taunt him from time to time, calling him a loser - that he'd never amount to anything.  Hmmm....  He came back and played a concert there one time, told that story, played one song and never came back" 

According to Ask The Rick member Bob Rittmeyer the word "Heinz" is also used in the following songs: Heinz Baked Beans (1967) by The Who, Steppin' To The A.M. by 3rd Bass, Intermezzo by Guy Lombardo, Bloody Money Pt. by 2 Noreaga and Who's Booty by EPMD.  I must be getting old because the only groups I know in that list are Guy Lombardo and the Who.

This Week's Question

Who is the only music group who's name is a palindrome and who also recorded a song that was also a palindrome?  Enough with the easy ones, I am tired of updating that board.  Give the group and the name of the song.

Send answers to rickritt@...

Next Weeks Issue

Next week, Pete Hurley asks, How does the glowing hockey puck work?

Questions in the Hopper

Last week's issue must have inspired you guys because the hopper over flowith.  21 brand spanking new questions ranging from golf and Tennis to politics and penis snatching Nigerians.  As I have said before, sleep is overrated.

A complete list of questions in the hopper can now be found on the website. Click here to view.

"Things will start happening to you now…" - Navin R. Johnson

Kuddos to Ask The Rick member Chris McElroy who pointed me to the Heinz website which contained last week's answer.  I forgot to mention it in last week's issue.  Sorry Chris, nice work!

Ask The Rick Integrity is Questioned.  Say it ain't so Joe!!

Ask The Rick member Jim Lawlor questioned last week's answer.  Jim writes, "Just to say that I do believe that the trivia game to end all, Trivial Pursuit, has the question and answer to be that there are 57ingredients (listed or not) in Heinz 57.   Please for the sake of my sanity, and the integrity of the Newsletter and humanity itself, do some research and assure me that your are more knowledgeable than the folks at Mattel or whoever makes that mind numbing game...Kay [Jim's lovely wife to be] has just given me breaking news.  Heinz 57 was on who wants to be a millionaire and the answer was 57 ingredients.  Please, Please research.  This is critical for our human race to continue!!!!!!"

Mr. Lawlor, all I can say is Trivial Pursuit and Millionaire are wrong.  I stand by my answer.  I suspect the writers at Millionaire got lazy and copied the question/answer from Trivial Pursuit.  We however at Ask The Rick are not that lazy.  We triple check all sources.   Trivial Pursuit has 4 documented wrong answers.  Make that 5.  You might want to write them an email.

Ask The Rick member Bill Garrity as usual provided countless useless (and I mean that in a good way) sites for upcoming questions and is currently negotiating a top secret mega marketing deal that will make Ask The Rick a household name.  We can all dream can't we...

In order to keep the Newsletter as short as possible (nix that, this one is long as hell), all user comments can be inputted / viewed on the Ask The Rick Message Board.

"Put the word in the streets"

Ask the Rick is very close to an important milestone.  The members who don't know me are about to out number those that do.   Granted I don't know a lot of people. 

Forward this thing like mad and in the words of Sly Stallone, "let's go over the top" next week.  I do plan to meet more people weekend, so please keep that in mind.

If you were forwarded this email and would like to join Ask The Rick send an email to Ask-The-Rick-subscribe@egroups.com.

Oh no! Don Ho!  Got to go -

See ya next week...maybe!

And oh yea, go Jackets!   I smell an upset.

---

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com .