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Wherein I reflect on gay marriage and just a wee little bit upon marriage itself. Please note, I really have no business writing this stuff. But I just don’t have the sense…
Okay, so during my one-hour drive home from work a couple days ago, I was listening to public radio and heard a story about a woman who was undergoing a divorce from her spouse — another woman. (Turns out it’s as hard to get a legal gay divorce as it is to get a gay marriage in some states. That’s why the story…)
Partway through her narrative, this lady described how, after the wedding, she and her lover stopped at a homey little restaurant for dinner, mentioning that they had just gotten married. A few minutes later the server delighted them when he arrived with compliments from the chef and owner, presenting them with flowers and champagne to celebrate their nuptials.
I paused. I reflected.
What if I had been that server? How should I have responded? (How would you respond?) Do I congratulate the new couple? Do I say anything that indicates happiness for them? Would this condone their relationship?
Or do I give them sacred stony silence and the cold shoulder of moral outrage?
Further, though I do not approve of their “marriage,” shouldn’t I stay silent at least? Why tell my manager, knowing that he will award the complimentary house bubbly? (Nevermind whatever I might think about the morality of drinking that “demon likker!”)
After un-pausing, I considered my reflections….
For myself, I think I would congratulate them, give them the best wine the house has to offer, and add them to my prayer list. (They’ll certainly need both!) Whatever else might happen during my service would be up to the Lord and any conversational opportunities that come up.
My moral example?
When slapped in the face and confronted with relational and governmental injustice, Jesus told his followers to turn their heads, offering the unslapped cheek as well. When pressed into service to carry a hated Roman soldier’s baggage for a mile, Jesus instructed his listeners to not stop at the end of the mile (which the law allowed) but to go even further — to go the second mile. When sinned against, Jesus told his disciples to forgive. And forgive again. (Again and again and again Finnegan.) When modeling how to pray, Jesus demonstrated a plea for God’s forgiveness predicated on our own proactive forgiveness of others sins against us.
If we’re to offer such unconditional forgiveness against personal injustices, what right do I have to hold sin against someone who hasn’t sinned against me, but against God himself?
I agree with my fellow conservative bloggers: We should fight hard to preserve the sanctity of the very concept of marriage in our culture, with the caveat that we haven’t done so well at preserving the sanctity of marriage within our own churches — more than half of us cannot bear to stay wed despite our protestations of holy, straight matrimony.
Thus, I also agree with others that we desperately need to clean up our own act and a good place to start is living holy lives, and leading and loving unbelievers to Jesus.
And building healthy, holy marriages.
Moral outrage? That’s easy. Beautiful, Christ-like lives? That’s hard.
No wonder so many of us are combative.
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